It is official, I am in pre-race mode. I just finished reading the posts on the DFMC website and I am so frustrated. I am familiar with the questions that pop up this time of year. But, I have my rituals and I don't want to deviate from them. What I am searching for are answers to the really important race day questions. Is there anyone out there that would be able to help me with these:
1. If the 2008 singlet makes me look fat, can I wear one from a previous year that is more slimming?
2. Is it acceptable to wear white running shoes even though it is not yet Memorial day?
3. What is the maximum amount of crap that I can wear on my body on race day and still look like I am actually a runner and not a tourist?
4. Since Aimee and Laurie are running this year, should I pack two watches or three?
Rest hard,
John
Since I am unable to work or focus on anything but the race, I will answer Papa John's questions, and add a few of my own.
1. You are the sexiest 49 year old man I know. You could not look fat in your singlet.
2. You are ok with white. As long as you are not wearing linen running shorts or argyle socks, you're fine.
3. It's tough to quantify crap...but I think if you go iPod, fuel belt, garmin, shades, and carry a cell phone with built in camera, you should be fine.
4. No answer for 4.
My questions:
1. If I cramp up (like I did in Phoenix last year) late in the race but I'm on track to qualify, should I stop and find a porto-potty or just poop in my pants?
2. Will shaving my head, legs and arms make me less wind resistant and thus faster? Will Laurie's waxing make me faster by reverse osmosis?
3. For my running tunes, should I go with loud "pump" music to keep me pushing or maybe change it up and relax with classical to calm my nerves and bring down the heart rate?
4. If I order a Bass Ale tonight for John and leave it on the bar to honor his absence, how long will it take for Jack to drink it?
Matt,
Thank you for helping me out. I will now try to do the same.
1. I would say port-o-potty. It is only cool to poop in your pants when you are on TV.
2. Shaving will definitely make you faster, but you forgot chest and back, two hairy areas where shaving provides the added bonus of helping you lose weight. As for the osmosis part, I need more information, are we talking Brazilian?
3. I might go with some smooth jazz to keep you mellow and on pace. John Coltrane. "Favorite Things."
4. My suggestion is to tell Jack that I called and I am stuck in traffic and I will be there shortly. Let's see how long that can hold him off.
Have a good day,
John
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Monday, April 14, 2008
To Do's & To Don'ts....
here goes ladies and gents.... with 7 days to go i, as a 10 year vet of this crazy game of marathoning, want to impart some wisdom (stop snickering). with that said here goes nothin'....
ladies, if you haven't gotten a pedicure go NOW and go DARK, do not wait another day. Not only will you not want anyone touching those toes the week after, you don't want to see whats going on under that polish.
drink water - OBVI - but if you aren't use to drinking a lot, you'll shock your system if you start pounding it sunday afternoon.
don't over carb early in the week, cause you'll just feel like crap. with that said, don't do anything that different to your diet at this stage. however, you might want to stay away from the fried food, or barbeque, or anything else you can get at red bones.
cool the boozin' monday, wednesday, thursday, friday & saturday.
go for a good, hard 10 mile run on thursday - KIDDING.... just wanted to see if you were paying attention.
rub it down (i said DOWN)... get a massage - and may i suggest my girl michaela she ROCKS the muscles like no other and has probably made a pain-free arrival to the start line possible for this old gal. (i love love love you girl!) if you need references, all members of the twentysixpointoomanymiles staff have seen her at least once with the last 5 days.
rid your week (all 7 days of it) of people who s*ck.
surround yourself with people who will pump you up. let them tell you how great you are, because you are (well, most of you).
journal this last week so you can look back and laugh at how freakin' nervous you were.
if you can, take a trip to the JFC, there a a lot of kids there you won't see at mile 25. if you need any inspiration at all you will certainly get it there.
gals - don't wait until monday AM to shave (or wax), tight clothes, sweat, rubbing, you get what i'm saying, right?
guys - please pack your jock. shorts optional.
(i can't believe i'm going to write this one) jack says stay away from chocolate... well what he actually says is keep the sugar intake low.... sorry jack, chocolate is love.
stay close to the ground... meaning your shoes... stay off the stiletto's - no question they are hot especially for you dudes in skirts, but this will be the week you fall off of them.
don't freak if out of the blue you have a joint or muscle pain, they're called phantom pains, it's in your head, you are fine.
but if not, there is always the contrast bath, from heat to ice. heat, stretch & rub, then plop yourself into an ice bath.... just ask matt how small, i mean good it is.
for crying out loud, send out your fundraising letter (oops, i think/hope that just applies to me)
on monday lube lube lube EVERYWHERE! your nipples (boys) & sports bra (girls), belly button, crotchal region, armpits, toes, thighs, you name it, just vas the crap out of yourself, and for goodness sake, don't be modest. but if you are just yell out "no one look over here i'm lubing!" that'll definitely keep people from peeking.
hug as many people as you can, actually just hug fast people, it'll make you faster by osmosis.
and last but seriously not least, talk to jack if you are not feeling "right," body or head... i've called on him for 10 years now. not only will he talk you off the ledge, he will give you the necessary & magical information that will make monday, april 21st one of the best days of your life. i promise. we love ya jack!
7 days.... GULP....
taper on friends
ladies, if you haven't gotten a pedicure go NOW and go DARK, do not wait another day. Not only will you not want anyone touching those toes the week after, you don't want to see whats going on under that polish.
drink water - OBVI - but if you aren't use to drinking a lot, you'll shock your system if you start pounding it sunday afternoon.
don't over carb early in the week, cause you'll just feel like crap. with that said, don't do anything that different to your diet at this stage. however, you might want to stay away from the fried food, or barbeque, or anything else you can get at red bones.
cool the boozin' monday, wednesday, thursday, friday & saturday.
go for a good, hard 10 mile run on thursday - KIDDING.... just wanted to see if you were paying attention.
rub it down (i said DOWN)... get a massage - and may i suggest my girl michaela she ROCKS the muscles like no other and has probably made a pain-free arrival to the start line possible for this old gal. (i love love love you girl!) if you need references, all members of the twentysixpointoomanymiles staff have seen her at least once with the last 5 days.
rid your week (all 7 days of it) of people who s*ck.
surround yourself with people who will pump you up. let them tell you how great you are, because you are (well, most of you).
journal this last week so you can look back and laugh at how freakin' nervous you were.
if you can, take a trip to the JFC, there a a lot of kids there you won't see at mile 25. if you need any inspiration at all you will certainly get it there.
gals - don't wait until monday AM to shave (or wax), tight clothes, sweat, rubbing, you get what i'm saying, right?
guys - please pack your jock. shorts optional.
(i can't believe i'm going to write this one) jack says stay away from chocolate... well what he actually says is keep the sugar intake low.... sorry jack, chocolate is love.
stay close to the ground... meaning your shoes... stay off the stiletto's - no question they are hot especially for you dudes in skirts, but this will be the week you fall off of them.
don't freak if out of the blue you have a joint or muscle pain, they're called phantom pains, it's in your head, you are fine.
but if not, there is always the contrast bath, from heat to ice. heat, stretch & rub, then plop yourself into an ice bath.... just ask matt how small, i mean good it is.
for crying out loud, send out your fundraising letter (oops, i think/hope that just applies to me)
on monday lube lube lube EVERYWHERE! your nipples (boys) & sports bra (girls), belly button, crotchal region, armpits, toes, thighs, you name it, just vas the crap out of yourself, and for goodness sake, don't be modest. but if you are just yell out "no one look over here i'm lubing!" that'll definitely keep people from peeking.
hug as many people as you can, actually just hug fast people, it'll make you faster by osmosis.
and last but seriously not least, talk to jack if you are not feeling "right," body or head... i've called on him for 10 years now. not only will he talk you off the ledge, he will give you the necessary & magical information that will make monday, april 21st one of the best days of your life. i promise. we love ya jack!
7 days.... GULP....
taper on friends
Sunday, April 6, 2008
A Shifty Fellow.....
Yesterday was a beautiful day. For those of you who ran a certain 3 mile race starting and finishing at a certain pub in Newton, I hope you enjoyed the experience half as much as I did. The race director was a certain member of the DFMC team who will remain nameless to protect his identity (note: he may be pictured behind the runner wearing the medal in the photo below) given the impropriety he committed, or played a part in committing. But before you rush to judgement....before you rightly or wrongly convict this modern day Robinhood and his band of merry thieves....who steal from the fast and give to the almost fast enough (but not quite), let me explain.
Yesterday, for the first and only time in my running life, I was accompanied to the race by my wife and two daughters, 3 and 5 years old (my oldest may be pictured behind the runner wearing the medal in the photo above). Whenever I come home from races of any distance, my 5 year old always dashes to the front door like Dino from the Flintstones, throwing herself at me with full force yelling, "Daddy!!! Did you win? Did you win?" As it turns out, I never do. I've never come close to placing in an organized race. Most of you know how hard it is to actually accomplish this feat. I always tell her that I tried my hardest but there were some pretty fast people out there. Time and time again, she tells me that she loves me anyway, which is great. Yesterday, I ran a pretty fast 3 miles. 18:30, which works out to 6:10 pace and good enough for 9th place overall. However, during the award ceremony, the announcement was made that a certain someone (this someone may be pictured...you get the drift....) won third place in his age category. I have to say, it felt pretty damn good to hear my name called, though surprising, as I was fairly certain that I hadn't placed. But hearing my name called was nothing compared to the look on my daughter's face, who screamed at the top of her lungs and just about jumped out of her shoes when my name was called. The first thing she said to me when she was done thanking the race director for my medal was "Daddy, I'm so proud of you..." Wow.
DIVISION MALES 20-39
Jamie Kreider 15:59.4 1 39 M 1 274 5.20 Newton
Tyler Hart 17:39.2 6 33 M 2 358 5.53 Arlington
Greg Obenshain 18:14.6 8 34 M 3 428 6.05 New York
Matthew Whitcomb 18:29.7 9 36 M 4 233 6.10 Cambridge
Daneil Green 18:33.8 10 30 M 5 339 6.11 Watertown
When I got home later that evening, I went into Cool Running to see the official results, and as it turns out, yours truly finished in fourth, not third place. At first, I was a little disappointed. I sat and thought of how this could be, and what the logical excuses were. Was this an innocent mistake? Doubtful.....Did Greg Obenshain get screwed because he was from New York? Well...maybe, but still not that likely. Did the race director, with a little help from some pretty solid citizens with hearts of gold and questionable ethics, perform a little post race magic to give an "almost fast enough" runner and his family a truly memorable day? You decide. I've made my decision. Thanks, guys...really. Oh, and Greg...better luck next year!
-Boner
Yesterday, for the first and only time in my running life, I was accompanied to the race by my wife and two daughters, 3 and 5 years old (my oldest may be pictured behind the runner wearing the medal in the photo above). Whenever I come home from races of any distance, my 5 year old always dashes to the front door like Dino from the Flintstones, throwing herself at me with full force yelling, "Daddy!!! Did you win? Did you win?" As it turns out, I never do. I've never come close to placing in an organized race. Most of you know how hard it is to actually accomplish this feat. I always tell her that I tried my hardest but there were some pretty fast people out there. Time and time again, she tells me that she loves me anyway, which is great. Yesterday, I ran a pretty fast 3 miles. 18:30, which works out to 6:10 pace and good enough for 9th place overall. However, during the award ceremony, the announcement was made that a certain someone (this someone may be pictured...you get the drift....) won third place in his age category. I have to say, it felt pretty damn good to hear my name called, though surprising, as I was fairly certain that I hadn't placed. But hearing my name called was nothing compared to the look on my daughter's face, who screamed at the top of her lungs and just about jumped out of her shoes when my name was called. The first thing she said to me when she was done thanking the race director for my medal was "Daddy, I'm so proud of you..." Wow.
DIVISION MALES 20-39
Jamie Kreider 15:59.4 1 39 M 1 274 5.20 Newton
Tyler Hart 17:39.2 6 33 M 2 358 5.53 Arlington
Greg Obenshain 18:14.6 8 34 M 3 428 6.05 New York
Matthew Whitcomb 18:29.7 9 36 M 4 233 6.10 Cambridge
Daneil Green 18:33.8 10 30 M 5 339 6.11 Watertown
When I got home later that evening, I went into Cool Running to see the official results, and as it turns out, yours truly finished in fourth, not third place. At first, I was a little disappointed. I sat and thought of how this could be, and what the logical excuses were. Was this an innocent mistake? Doubtful.....Did Greg Obenshain get screwed because he was from New York? Well...maybe, but still not that likely. Did the race director, with a little help from some pretty solid citizens with hearts of gold and questionable ethics, perform a little post race magic to give an "almost fast enough" runner and his family a truly memorable day? You decide. I've made my decision. Thanks, guys...really. Oh, and Greg...better luck next year!
-Boner
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