a short retort

after red bones submitted the male side of the “support” spectrum, the plan was to write a witty comeback about women and the beloved sports bra. pages and pages could have been published on the binding, and the chafing and above all else, the formation of the NEVER-sexy UNIBOOB. clearly that “plan” never panned out, so no excuses will be made for the lack of post, just an apology to any women out there that needed us to be your platform for comfort, support & sex appeal and the impossibilities of such a thing when talking about or actually wearing a sports bra. (please do read the comments posted by kerry to red bones "lack of support" blog, in a way, she kind of did our job for us).

if you’re asking yourself, “why now? why, after over a week, do you feel it necessary to chime in?” well readers, the answer is this, we heard the whole story. last tuesday night after a track workout at tufts, a group of us ventured to red bones in davis square. at red bones, by red bones, the unedited, unabridged, TWISTED story was revealed. after what was unveiled, the conclusion came that any comment made (spoken or blogged), comparing men and women relative to the jock strap and the sports bra as they relate to injury of the goods would not be right.
men v. women – on the subject of support apparatus’

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in any case, Red Bones one word my friend: O U C H ! and with that, one request: next time you want to indulge us in a story like that with such great detail, can it start after more than a single michelob ultra and 3 bites of pulled pork have been ingested. that was at least a 5 beers ( & maybe a shot) kinda story. and under no circumstances should there be pulled anything on the table.

YIKES!

as an aside, i think most women will agree that the construction of the sports bra is fine. there are so many out there, in all shapes, colors and styles so for that we have a leg up on the fellas. however, i would beg that these bra building companies do something about that sexy-factor…. it would be to the benefit of all, women and men. in a bizarre way (i would say twisted, but that would be wrong) some of us find jock straps cute. from a woman’s (or man’s) perspective there is nothing “cute” about the single pancaked aforementioned uniboob.

a little support...

It's not often talked about, because guys are supposed to be tough. And guy marathoners--marathoners in general being a tough lot, impervious to the elements and with unusual threshholds for pain--are supposed to be tougher still. But someone has to come out and talk about it. Staying silent any longer will only perpetuate the hurting, and God knows we've suffered long enough. The last 5 years have brought about some wonderful innovations in running...the Garmin GPS watch, the iPod chip for your Nike's, Bodyglide, Gu, etc, etc. Yet, despite man's (and woman's) adeptness to innovate and make, by many accounts, a torturous activity less painful, we have failed to make any improvements in the most essential piece of running equipment of all--the jockstrap. In 1874, Charles Bennett of the Chicago sporting goods company, Sharp & Smith, invented the jockstrap. I'm sorry to say that the basic design has not changed much since then. A typical jockstrap consists of an elastic waistband with a support pouch for the genitalia and two elastic straps affixed to the base of the pouch and to the left and right sides of the waistband at the hip. This is all well and good if you're looking for a little extra support to check the mail, or say, do some light gardening. But, people...please! We're talking about sustained, vigorous physical activity for several hours with 130 year old technology protecting the most precious asset known to man (literally). For starters, for those of you (like me...and maybe Martin) that genuinely need the support, a jock strap must be tight fitting. You don't just want the thing casually covering the groceries. I'm talking about real support. Have you ever heard of testicular tortion? I didn't think so. Try explaining that one to the emergency room nurse. My point is, to get any type of real support, you're talking about a waist band (referenced above) and straps affixed to the pouch (also referenced above) that are likely lacerating the skin in some fairly sensitive areas....with 42,000 or so strides in a marathon, think of the number of times those straps are ruthlessly rubbing in and around the "no fly zone." And while the adrenaline is often times enough to get you through the run itself, there is always the shower afterwards...and soap and water have a way of penetrating the "no fly zone" (OUCH!!!!) and reminding you after every long run history has improved a lot of things, but has abandoned the male distance runner on a painful island, begging to be rescued. So please, guys...join with me in my protest...and girls, support (no pun intended) the guy you love. It's the 21st century. Call your local sporting goods company, write Champion, or Under Armour. Fix the damn jockstrap!

-Red Bones

yet another idea...

guest bloggers....

since we are seemingly doing a below average job of keeping up, why don't you the viewers punch in. we have one person on board, ready and willing (perhaps a bit too willing which could prove to be a bit dicey) so how about being the next and then the next after that. you do not have to be a DFMCer, and you don't have to talk about running but you certainly can. our mission here is to do our part in the fight against cancer. any stories, thoughts, memories, light or heavy hearted please share. if you are interested in posting something through "twentysixpointtoomanymiles," and we truly hope you are (not because you are getting us off the hook) please email us at twentysixpointtoomanymiles@gmail.com and we will get your thoughts out there (and keep you anonymous if you want).



i like it.... i like it a lot.

red bones you're up.